To lyme or not to lyme...

Thanks to one of the wonderful mothers in my sons preschool, I found a fantastic doctor. At the urge of my mother in law I was looking for a Lyme disease specialist. As luck would have it, my first day back from vacation a friend from my sons preschool had read one of my blog posts and inquired about how I was feeling. She spoke to her husband, an infectious disease specialist, and next thing I know I am on the phone with the wonderful doctor at Newton Wellesley Hospital. Lyme is a hot topic in this area and this particular hospital sees plenty of it.

A few tests later and a change of med's and I am feeling much better. In fact the specialist is not sure I ever had Lyme at all! It is a long story which I will not go too far into, but apparently the testing for Lyme can be quite tricky.

From what I understand, the CDC recommends that if a patient is presenting symptoms of Lyme disease that a certain Lyme blood test is administered. If the results of that test are (-) negative there is no further testing to be done on the subject, and the patient is not diagnosed with Lyme. The physician may still decide to prescribe an antibiotic, usually Doxycycline). If the test is (+) positive, then there are two further tests. One of these tests has three markers and one has ten. I assume that this allows the doctor to prescribe a more specific course of treatment.

My first test was negative, but my primary care doctor ordered the other tests as well. Two of the three markers came back "abnormal" which led to my diagnosis as Lyme positive.

At this point I am feeling much better, the specialist wants me to continue on the Doxycycline for the rest of the month. Hopefully that will be the end of this! I do not entirely understand the Lyme disease, testing, or diagnosis... but I guess I don't really care as long as the symptoms are gone, right?

I have to say, I do love the synchronicity life can bring sometimes. I believe if there is something you really need (not to be confused with something you really want), you will get it.

Liza

In Between Moments

Ahhh... today was a long day. Randy was home late from work and I have been feeling really run down. I found myself having a sort of out-of-body experience while the afternoon clicked by minute by minute.

So much is always happening.

Between eight family members (at our house;) two parents, two kids, two dogs and two cats, there is always something going on with someone; good, bad, or just simply "happening".  I think most people try most of the time to be the best person they can be in any given moment.  No matter how one is behaving or responding, we are innately doing the very best we can with where we are 'now'.

But sometimes there are moments where I feel like I am just watching my life from above somehow, and this afternoon was one of those moments. I was diagnosed today via. positive blood test for Lyme disease. Lyme?

I woke up at 4:30am Sunday night with excruciating pain in my leg, and was sure I had torn a ligament at a wedding the night before. I had felt fine all day, but thought maybe somehow the pain of such an injury would come later? Four Advil and a half hour later I was fast asleep, I called the Dr. first thing in the morning.

She mentioned a few other symptoms people had been reporting to her with concern, and I was awestruck. Last week I had had each and every symptom she had mentioned. Hart palpitations, chills, fatigue, irritability, and of all things... a late, late period. What?

So, this afternoon I was looking down at my life from this odd space in my brain where I realized that for the next three months (at the very least) I would be on antibiotics and according to the doctor, would be feeling much worse before I feel better. Daily life has been challenging to me before all of this. Staying home with two kids under the age of four, every day, all day. This is a wonderful kind of hard, but it is hard none the less.
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As the afternoon dragged on,  I was feeling tired.  Chewing on these worries about what exactly it is that lies ahead in my recovery, I realized that it is not the big moments that are hard. We react to the 'big' moments spontaneously, candidly, free from over thinking or forethought. In these big moments are where the person we truly are shines most brightly, instantly. But it is during the in-between moments, in between the big moments, where we really feel those personal things we are struggling with. When all else is quiet we have an opportunity to recognize what are personal struggles are. These are the times in which we have to continuously convince ourselves,  or remind ourselves,  or practice, who it really is that we are and who we are choosing to be.

Every moment presents an opportunity to choose who we are,  and how we are gong to 'be'.  With a deep breath, a little love and a whole ton of patience...

I don't know.  What do you think?

Liza